You are not benign. You’re not dangerous either as being dangerous concludes that you are someone who is willing to hurt people at random or for your own selfish means. But you are not benign. You are someone who is capable of mastering their spirit, their magic in a way that is able to be wielded to protect yourself and your loved ones, to protect your family, your tribe, your nation in such a way that does not render you harmless but also means that you’re not a pushover either. You are not a pushover. You shouldn’t aspire to be a pushover. And you don’t aspire to be a pushover.
You are wanting “teeth.” But part of you is afraid that having “teeth” means that you won’t be able to control it and you’ll end up hurting the people around you that you love. You’ve had an experience with this before where you tried to be assertive, but you felt like things spiraled out of control and you may have ended up hurting people that you didn’t want to hurt in the process. This is a message to let you know that you don’t have to be afraid of being out of control anymore. You were younger, you were greener on this earth, and although it is completely understandable to be afraid of this happening again, even it happening in the first place was not an error in practice. These things happen. Mistakes happen. It’s okay to make mistakes, and even though there may be tragic or traumatizing outcomes, it’s not an indicator that you should stop growing and that you should stop aspiring to have “teeth” and stop aspiring to be able to protect yourself and your loved ones with those “teeth.”
What do we mean by “teeth”? We mean assertiveness, we mean grounded authority, we mean aggressiveness in certain scenarios. We mean the capacity to switch into or turn on that aspect of yourself that is more in alignment with anger, that is more in alignment with power, with authority, with domination. An aspect of yourself that is divinely in alignment with divine rage, divine masculinity with the ability to lash out, not in a reactive way, but in an effective way to corral any antagonism or hostility towards you and your loved ones to put it in its place and rightfully so. What we’re talking about is justice, not a sense of needless or aimless violence. It could be words, it could be actions, but it’s corrective, it’s punitive, and it’s ultimately “the law.” It’s your law. You need to reestablish your ability to “lay down your law.” Not within your family so much, but with the external surroundings and external beings around you that are not necessarily related to you.
There is an aspect or concept nowadays of the written “law” of governments being “the law,” but in reality, everyone has their own law and whoever is able to wield the enforcement of their law are the ones that get to keep those laws. Laws are what protect your loved ones and what protects yourself, what keeps your family safe. And so, it’s not enough to belong to a city or a country or any larger governmental body that claims to have laws. You must lay down your own law and be able to enforce it. Because, and you might have felt that maybe you were questioning this recently, but there are antagonistic forces that are targeting you. You’re not wrong about that. And so your desire to protect yourself and your family is righteous. It’s in the right.
That being said, your anger, oddly enough, should come from peace. There is a way to access rage and anger in a way that can be utilized to bolster your spirit when you’re protecting yourself and your loved ones in a way that comes from a sense of stillness and peace within yourself and is very controlled. You’re very aware when you are engaging in this energy. It’s not a kind of wild and out of control “seeing red” kind of a situation. What you need to do is learn how to access the full range of your emotions. Both “positive” and “negative”. They’re not actually “negative” emotions, but they have more negative associations with them in the current society. You need to learn how to and practice how to access the full range of your emotions, the full spectrum of your emotions, from a place of stillness and quiet so that you’re able to be present when experiencing all of them, because ultimately emotions are not things to be overtaken by or overwhelmed by. They’re merely pieces of information that come in an energetic format, that you can experience while your core aspect is still and is quiet and is reflective.
However, you’re also experiencing these different emotions all across the spectrum. Your mastery of your ability to witness or engage with this information, to take in this information and be aware of this information while also being still and quiet is what will allow you to access different energy states within yourself that will heighten or dull certain senses. So in this particular case, what you’re needing to know is that anger and rage a lot of times can be sacred. In the past you may have felt, and even in the current, you might feel like you’re a bit powerless to anger. When you feel it, it overwhelms you, you feel flooded by it, you feel drowned in it, and it’s like you don’t know what to do with yourself. And your biggest concern is to not take it out on the people around you that you love. What we’re saying is that anger can be one of your greatest allies and that once you learn how to master your ability to be still and quiet while also experiencing that anger and feeling it, it can alter your state of being in such a way that it makes you a better protector of that which you love.
It’s also important in general to be able to feel your emotions and have a good or a positive relationship with all emotions in terms of not blaming the emotions for how you may or may not have received guidance in your youth with regards to how to feel or not feel emotions. All emotions need to be felt in order to move through the body and not get stuck in the body, which can cause a lot of different health issues and psychological struggles. What we would recommend is meditation, of course, is often cited as a way to produce stillness and quietness in the body. There are forms of meditation that you can do or look up to practice feeling emotions – any form of meditation that also incorporates being able to generate or sit through and sit with different emotions that come up, either brought about intentionally by yourself or in the moment when you feel like things have been triggered, you can sit down and meditate and breathe through feeling those emotions without feeling completely washed away by them – we would recommend those practices for you.
We would also say that there are somatic therapy practices, somatic practices, which allow you to call forward different emotions, or again, if an emotion is triggered, there are somatic practices which give you tools as to how to remain grounded within yourself energetically or consciously and to not dissociate while you feel emotions. Any of these kinds of practices, done over a period of time, will help you to feel less powerless to feeling your emotions and especially anger.
When you release your fear of emotions, you’ll be able to be a lot freer in how you express yourself as a person. Because right now you feel, in a way, very closed off from people that you want to have much deeper relationships with. Because, in a way, you’re holding yourself back from “inflicting” yourself on them. In the event that an emotion is to be triggered, you’re concerned or afraid that you might lash out at them or you could make a mistake or embarrass yourself in front of them or in some way, shape, or form, have them think more lowly of you, in which case you feel like it might just be safer for yourself to withhold aspects of yourself, parts of yourself, from them so that you’re able to escape quickly in a way in case you are emotionally triggered or in case you’re starting to feel powerless to emotions. This is contributing to a sense of feeling detached from people. If you’re feeling like you’re not able to build very deep relationships, which is something that you are desiring of, if you have been feeling detached from people, and like you’re not able to build deep relationships like you’re desiring, this is part of the reason why.
You’re afraid that they’re going to reject you because of your emotionality. Which is something that you have experienced in the past. However, the people who have rejected you because of your emotionality were not supposed to be in your life long term, anyway. That’s not to say that their rejection should not hurt and that you shouldn’t feel the way you feel about how you acted in those situations or how they acted in those situations, but it’s not a reason to stop working on your emotional development, if you will. It’s not a reason to stop working on improving your relationship with your emotions and improving your ability to remain grounded and centered while experiencing emotions simultaneously.
It is possible for you to live a very enjoyable life with it, having a positive relationship with your emotions and having deep relationships with people that will not reject you for your emotionality or your ability to feel emotions. You may have believed at a time that not having emotions is the only way to maintain close relationships. That is not the case. You need emotions to have deep relationships. In deep relationships, you share emotions with people. And so there is also an aspect of yourself that is cut off from yourself because you’re not allowing yourself to be deeply emotional because you’re afraid and that fear is completely justified.
To come out the other side of the scenario a more emotionally mature person, it’s going to take some work, but it doesn’t have to be an overwhelming, long spiritual journey and process. Simply consistent practice with not dissociating when you feel emotions and remaining grounded in your body as you feel emotions, allowing yourself to feel everything that comes up. Again, initially, you may find yourself experiencing some extreme volatility. There may be crying and you might want to practice having things like pillows to be able to hit or scream into or you can use a bat to hit a mattress or some soft padding or something like that. But you need to work on feeling your emotions, remaining grounded in your body and not dissociating while you feel emotions, and ultimately being able to maintain a core sense of clarity and meditativeness while also experiencing the energetic information of those emotions at the same time.
Doing those practices will drastically help to improve your relationship with yourself, your mental and physical health, your spiritual health, and your relationships with the people you love around you. This is entirely an achievable and possible goal for you. It’s not like you have to be someone who sits on top of a mountain and meditates for their whole life in order to achieve this. It’s just a small, simple intentionality that you’re adding to your life, and over time, you’ll start to see the difference.