Everything feels so hard right now because there is a certain level of resistance you have to relinquishing control over your destiny and the way that it manifests. Your destiny is not for you to control. Your outcomes are not for you to control. Your methodology is within your control. You have to relinquish your attachment to what you think is going to happen as a result of you doing what’s in alignment for you right now that’s in front of you.
There’s a pathway in front of you that’s in alignment for you, that you know you need to take, but you’re having trouble taking it because you’re not convinced that as a result of following that aligned path, you’re going to get where you want to get or you’re going to have your needs met.
This is a result of childhood trauma where your needs weren’t met while you were behaving in ways that felt in alignment to yourself, but were punished by authority figures, be it your parents or teachers or extended family members or other members of society that were adults. It’s like it was beaten out of you that you’re supposed to follow your naturally-aligned path, your soul-aligned path.
So for you, it feels incredibly scary – exciting, thrilling at the idea of following that aligned path – but also terrifying because part of you feels like you’re very committed to the idea that it’s not going to get you where you need to go or where you want to go or that there’s going to be pain as a result of following it.
This is also a generational trauma for you. It’s familial trauma, particularly in your maternal line and it runs many multiple generations deep back into your lineage. Some people use the term “generational curse”. This is a generational curse, if you will, that you’re meant to break. Your lineage does not want to deal with this anymore. Part of the reason why you are dealing with it is because you are meant to break free of that behavior pattern.
You have a lot more courage within you than you realize and that you’re currently acknowledging. You know you have this courage within you, but still, it’s like you spend most of your time staring at the fear. So it feels like the fear is bigger than the courage you have, but in reality, your courage much more outweighs the fear. The amount of courage you have is a lot more than the fear of following this aligned path and whatever pain may happen as a result of it or any fears or uncertainties of what may come about as a result of following it.
It’s what you’re wanting, too. You want to follow this path, this aligned work. It’s like you need to build momentum. The first step is going to be the hardest, and every step subsequently after that is just going to be a little bit easier. You have inertia that you need to overcome, and that’s going to be difficult, and it’s important to not confuse the difficulty of overcoming that initial inertia to build momentum for yourself in the direction of accomplishing this task that you want to accomplish or taking up this skill that you want to learn, this being that you want to become, this person that you want to be.
It’s important not to confuse the difficulty of overcoming that initial inertia with meaning that you shouldn’t do it. It’s not pushback from the universe that you’re feeling. When you approach starting and you feel pushback or resistance or difficulty, it’s not pushback from the universe. It’s simply that inertia of breaking that generational curse.
There’s just been so much momentum and so much energy and so much focus put into this negative thought form that when you first even try to deal with it, it feels so overwhelming on a telepathic level, even just interacting with that thought form feels almost all-encompassing because it’s so big, but in reality you’re much bigger. It’s just the amount of focus that is going into it versus focusing on your courage and your capability to deal with it and eradicate it from your lineage for once and for all this time around.
It’s also important to have faith in yourself, faith in your friends, faith in your family, faith in the support network that you’ve built for yourself. And if you don’t have that support network that you’ve built for yourself, that’s something to work on – building that support network. People that you can have faith in that they will take care of you and that you’ll be able to take care of them and that you’ll have the support you need to make it through life leaning on each other, supporting each other.
Keep taking those first steps. It may feel like to overcome this inertia, you may take a step and the second step still feels difficult, and the third step still feels difficult, and the next one still – it may feel like you’re not making progress, like each step that you take towards what you are wanting and towards that path that feels good for you, it may feel like every one of those steps is a first step and you’re not making progress, but that’s not the case.
Every time you take a step forward, you chip away at that stasis, you chip away at overcoming that inertia, and it will build up, it will accumulate, and you will be able to get the ball rolling in your favor in a downhill direction and start to build momentum in that way.
What awaits you once you’re able to build that momentum for yourself in doing something that feels good for yourself, building a life that feels good for yourself, it is very good indeed. It is beyond what you’re even allowing yourself to want right now.